Mark of the Mountain Lion

/ Liz H-H

Cougar at night

The challenge? Write a story in exactly 6 sentences based on Denise’s one word prompt: CLAW. Visit, comment, and write & post your own on SIX SENTENCE STORIES. The Café is open. Come as you are!

The girl kept to herself, eyes wary and movements silky like a night cat rounding a dark street corner, as she hopped off the back of the stagecoach just outside of Lula’s Saloon; she knew where she was headed but still distrusted the townfolk, based on all the stories she’d heard from other women who’d passed through Lula’s on their way to autonomy.             

For her part, Lula knew the girl was coming because news travels both ways; she considered coming out from the behind the bar to greet the girl, but instinct said best to wait for her to approach.

The girl kept her head down as she slipped through the saloon doors and into the shadowy shelter offered by the stairway up and the piano player gently tapping his keys just beneath; he barely suppressed his gasp when he noted the claw mark that had taken her eye and left scar tissue in its place.

“I’m Tucker and I hear you got work,” murmured the girl, barely breast high at the rail, to the proprietress carefully wiping a shot glass.

Lula met her one good eye and answered, “We keep a clean house here. Go on upstairs – ask for Angel—and we’ll see what you can do once you’re presentable.”

 © Liz Husebye Hartmann (2024)

27 thoughts on “Mark of the Mountain Lion”

  2. Pingback: Cougar Comes Around | Valley of the Trolls

  6. Love the drama around your use of the prompt word, Liz – “…the claw mark that had taken her eye and left scar tissue in its place.” Yowzer!
    Lula’s a fantastic name for a woman running a saloon. Looking forward to another episode.

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  8. I had a feeling that there’s a wisp of magic floating under this story and that Tucker is more than she appears and I liked that.

    I usually don’t offer much feedback on stuff out here in the blogiverse, but if you’re in the mood for a little concrit(?) then I thought maybe the word “eyes” in the first sentence should be changed?

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      • Because she only has one eye maybe:

        The girl kept to herself, body wary and movements silky like…

        Of course there’s that wisp of magic I perceived and maybe the missing eye and scar tissue is a glamour?

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      • 😆😆😆OMIGOD! That is a good catch, Michael. I never woulda even guessed.
        Yes, I think a rewrite would have to change the part of body expressing her wariness. And I think to say “eye wary” would be even more awkward. 😜😜🐱(snort!)

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