F U Kevin

/ Liz H-H

© Ayr/Gray

From Jenne Gray and C.E. Ayr’s photo prompt, The Unicorn Challenge (02/02/2024). No more than 250 words in length. Otherwise, let your creative flag fly!

I’d had every intention of hopping on the old New Year’s Resolution Fitness Challenge. I’d even signed up for a morning biker’s meetup, unaware that Harleys were the usual ride. Still, they were nice about it, once they stopped laughing.  

I’d picked up a bike second-hand from Flanders’ Spins and Fins, figuring that there was no way I was gonna dip my toes in the ocean after all the reports of shark attacks I’d been reading in the Atlantica Sun. Even with flippers, I’d be safer on land and since I had some cycling ability from my childhood, I could out-pedal the alligators if I had to.

Unless, of course, they’d been patronizing Flanders’ shop and picking up their own set of wheels. You never can tell with that Flanders guy. Friendly as a fly on potato salad, but not trustworthy in temps above forty degrees.

I hail from more Northerly climes, so I know about these things. A girl’s gotta be wise and after Kevin’s last 19th Nervous Breakdown, him slamming his way out of the apartment door so hard the plaster cracked off the wall, I knew I had to get out of town. Worse, he ate all my pizza, after complaining it was subpar.

So then, Flanders sold me this bike with a thin tire that’s left me high and dry outside the Heavenly Gardens Plant Paradise. They needed a worker, I needed a job, and shop owners Big Tom and his mom actually like my cooking.     

© Liz Husebye Hartmann (2024)

12 thoughts on “F U Kevin”

  1. Unlikely, but Kevin may have had his (unreasonable) reasons for all of those breakdowns, but there’s no excuse for eating all the pizza. None. Subpar pizzas, like there’s such a thing! This was a funny story, especially the morning meetup with the bikers. (And also because I used to know a guy called Big Tom. So named because he (obviously) liked everyone’s cooking)

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  2. Love this, Liz.
    The thought of alligaors on wheels…
    And I’m still laughing at ‘Friendly as a fly on potato salad…’
    Anarchic fun, Liz. I think you enjoyed writing it.
    PS Glad to see you back. Hopde you’re well.

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