Eloise leaned back, one hand on the steering wheel of her mother’s Ford Mondeo Wagon, and grew increasingly annoyed at the jam that stopped traffic for miles, as it did every Friday when she had to drive her young twin sisters to her mother’s second ex-husband’s home from the house they all shared with her brother, Andrew, and her mother.
She had mixed feelings about the weekly drive; on the one hand, it meant the room she shared with the twins was all hers for three nights a week, but on the other hand, they always came back on Monday.
Her head and shoulders jerked forward as her seatback was once again buffeted by the tiny, but powerful tennis shoes of Chuckie, twin number one.
“Go Chuckie, go,” chanted Ducks, twin number two; it was as if the two were playing tennis and she was the ball, trapped in a rhythm that made her blood boil.
To the right, just over the guard rail, the mighty Mississippi tumbled fast and far below, and seemed to blink at Eloise in a flashing tattoo that she could almost decode.
Her finger twitched at the door-unlock controls; the twins never wore their seatbelts, so how hard could it be?
© Liz Husebye Hartmann (2022)
The challenge? Write a story in 6 sentences, no more & no less, and if you’d like, share your creation or just visit and comment on others’ ideas, with GirlieOnTheEdge, Denise. The prompt is “RHYTHM”, and here’s where you join the party: Six Sentence Stories
Valley of the Trolls 
Alright, Liz! Driving on the dark side, lol Well done. Simply well done.
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And we all go there, from time to time…😉
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That’s some temptation…
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…as the resentment builds…more to come.
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Ooh Eloise certainly has her hands full there… but she will soon be free of them for a few days… possibly longer…
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Sooner…or later. 😉
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She wouldn’t, would she? Great six Liz.
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Maybe, maybe not. We’ll have to see!
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Talk about temptation……
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To the moon, Alice!
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Oh wow, Liz. Looks like Eloise won’t stop until she has the whole house to herself!
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Gasp!
Is Mom next, or is this background, or…
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Yikes!!
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Liking the ending and the well-constructed story-ette, when I went back and re-read,
“To the right, just over the guard rail, the mighty Mississippi tumbled fast and far below, and seemed to blink at Eloise in a flashing tattoo that she could almost decode.”
hokey smoke! such subtle (and way effective) imagery
Definitely this week’s ‘Damn! Why can’t I write that good?” award.
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Thanks, Clark!
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Love ‘they always came back on Monday’!
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A never-ending hell that made THAT day of week a little bit worse. 😉
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Oh my goodness!
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And as the song goes: With a flick of the switch she’ll blow you sky high!
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How hard could it be?
Stay tuned folks, and is that Andrew over there?
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Wait and see for the next installment?
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Nice description of her torment: “it was as if the two were playing tennis and she was the ball”
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Thanks, Frank. Thwok! Thwok!
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Harder than you think when you have to live with what you’ve done.
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We’ll have to see how this all shakes out, huh?
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Deliciously evil, Liz. 🙂
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Thank you!
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